toto's

almighty / todopoderoso

2011-08-26T16:20:00.001-07:00

I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY IF…

2011-06-20T14:49:00.002-07:00

There will never be a sunrise

If you are not by my side admiring it

There is not going to be a sunset

If I am not in your arms crying it

There will never be a goodmorning

If I cannot share breakfast with you

There is not going to be a goodnight

If that kiss does not come from your lips

There will ever be a smile on me

If it is not you the one who makes my lips spread

There is not going to be real tears rolling down

If it is not you the one who gives them birth

There will never be a perfect day

If I cannot see you sleeping for hours

There is not going to be a perfect day

If I cannot listen to your voice forever

There will never be a beautiful song

If my ears cannot share it with yours

There is not going to be a beauty

If I cannot see your…

There is not going to be a complete person in me

If I do not have my second half…

If I don’t have you…

May 18^th 2001

PLEASE

2011-06-20T14:49:00.001-07:00

Sun, please do never stop shining

I need you to keep on smiling my life a bit longer

Rain, please do never stop falling

I need you to keep on washing away my pain and sorrow

Wind, please do never stop blowing

I need you to keep on whispering in my ears

River, please do never stop flowing

I need you to keep on singing this love song to me

Bird, please do never stop flying

I need you to go on showing me that freedom is

Star, please do never stop twinkling

I need you to go on making the night worth the living

Love, please do never stop being

I need you to go on giving me a reason to live, love and cry…

Queer

2011-06-20T14:48:00.002-07:00

What’s so funny about this life

If it always leads to suffering

What’s so great about this city

If it anyway looks dirty

Live life as it comes,

Just enjoy the moment

Don’t you worry about the things you have

Cos He knows why He gave you this

What’s so glorious about love

If you always end up crying

What’s so terrible about crying

If you cry, you’ve felt the love

Live life as it comes

Just enjoy the moment

Don’t you worry about the things you have

Cos He knows why He gave you this

What’s so weird about being queer

If you are a person in the end

What’s so odd about being straight

If you are a person either way

Live life as it comes

Just enjoy the moment

Don’t you worry about the things you have

Cos He knows why He gave you this

What’s so happy about smiling

If a smile just hides a crying

What’s so sad about a weeping day

If that weep just covers love

(april 2^nd 2001)

SANDCASTLE

2011-06-20T14:48:00.001-07:00

I am not the most important person under the sun.

I know, I am neither a king nor a queen.

But you, you are a very important person under my sun.

You are the little king in my sandcastle

I know all that and that’s why

I ask you not to leave me

I beg you not to run away

I know all that and that’s why…

I am not the right person to be carrying guns.

The reason why my heart’s not strong or weak.

But you, you have two powerful weapons, love.

You possess the deepest eyes I have ever seen.

I know all that and that’s why

I hope we see each other again

I hope the Lord looks after you

I know all that and that’s why…

Because you are gorgeous

Because you are a perfect being

I know all, that’s why I am alive.

(august 4^th, 2001 one of the saddest days of my life…)

Tape one and two:

2011-06-20T14:47:00.001-07:00

he once said ‘i think i’m in love with you’

and all I can tell him now is, i was and i still am in love with him

he then said ‘i was born to make you happy’

and I wonder… does this happiness involve so many tears?

or am i still longing for that never-coming happiness

he once told me ‘your world I all yellow’

but my world is all autumnly dark now

he then told me ‘it was all because of you’

but i do think it was all about and because of us

it came a time when he named me ‘lovefool’

and what other name can you give someone

who loves being fooled by him?

we reached a time and he said to me ‘it’s love’

but time passed and it all changed

it was not longer love for him, it was only for me

and he can say it ‘doesn’t really matter’

well, it does matter to me, I still care about him

i think I am still in love with him

and he sang to me ‘i turn to you’

like a flower leaning towards the sun

but now all i can see is him dancing away from me

he went ‘God must have spent a little more time on you’

but if He did so, He made a mistake…

He did not want me to be happy though

he goes ‘my love is your love’

but I do not think we still have the same concept

of the word, not between him and me.

he went ‘i belong to you’

and if he really did once I will always regret

not being able to keep him by my side

he goes ‘can’t take my eyes off of you’

well, i do not know him, but i could not

i spent 15 nights only watching him sleep

he wrote ‘(your drive me) crazy’

but I am still a fortune’s fool

since i could never feel that craziness

he promised it is ‘all for you’

but that all meant nothingness

and they had never told me about it

he wrote, i want you ‘here with me’

he had me, but the worst is

was it what he really wanted in life?

he promised me you can ‘say what you want’

but what i wanted was banned

I wanted to shout ‘i love you’

he sang ‘don’t cry for me argentina’

but argentina did cry for him

and i think it would cry a thousand more for him

he was wondering ‘are you that somebody?’

but he refused to find out

he did not believe in me, or did not want to

he was singing ‘i want you back’

and when he had me back

he did not allow me to have him back

he kept on wondering if it was all ‘new’

and of course i was going to be new there

but he preferred the everyday people instead

(2001)

The Leaf

2011-05-18T18:54:00.000-07:00

The tree is there,

Under a grey sky

The leaf remains there,

Fighting against the winds.

It is the last leaf of the Autumn tree.

It is the last spark of hope in my life.

Through your veins,

The sap I need runs

In your soul and heart,

The strength to remain

It is the last spark of hope in my life.

It is the last leaf of the Autumn tree.

The leaf in its last filament

Sways uncertainly pleading life

My life goes through days

Hazily to reach your light

2001

Thought

2011-05-18T18:48:00.000-07:00

It's raining again in my heart. It is making it all wet through and vulnerable to the changes of season when birds start flying away. But I do not want my bird to fly away from me though I cannot and I don't want to trap my wild bird in my grasp. No, I will not do it unless my gorgeous little wild bird wants to nest in the palms of my hands. It is not a game only I have to play, this is a game for two. And both decisions must be respected, so I have made up my mind but I do not think I am as wild as my little bird is... I am afraid, I am afraid northern summer finds me alone and unloved.

This dangerous game of love we play, we think we win only to lose. I want to disagree, I want not to lose, not this time. Why can't I be the exception to this rule?

(2001)

Why...

2011-05-18T18:43:00.000-07:00

Why should you keep me so low?

Why should you paint a smile on me?

Why should you make me cry?

You came to me so suddenly

and as suddenly you were gone

You looke at me so sweetly

and as sweetly you said goodbye

Why should you do this to me?

Why should you keep me so low?

Why should you paint a smile on me?

Why should you make me cry?

You talked to me beautifully

and as beautifully you broke my heart

You walked by me so friendly

and as friendly you stole my soul.

Why should I suffer this?

Why should I stay low?

Why should I smile?

Why should I cry?

Maybe because I love you....

(2001)

2011-05-18T18:37:00.001-07:00

You are the one I once liked

and now you are not here

You are the one to keep

and now you are not here

You are the rising sun

and you are not now here

You are the falling rain

and you are not now here

You are the shiny rainbow

and now you are not with me

You are the blossoming rose

and now you are not with me

You are the eyes I looked for

and now you are far away

You are the voice to hear

and now you are far away

And I still wonder why

(2001)

Flameless heart

2011-05-18T18:25:00.000-07:00

So when did you come into my heart?

So when did you steal my fragile soul?

So when did you blow my breath to end?

So when...

So why did you light my flameless heart?

So why did you feed my so spinny mind?

So why did you fasten my beats?

So why...

So what shall I name you?

So what is this between you and me?

So what have I got to do next?

So what...

So how did you manage to brighten me?

So how did you thunder my eyes?

So how did you sweeten my days?

So how...

So where do I post my love now?

So where do I sleep on Friday night?

So where will the telephone ring today?

So where...

Tell me when, and why, and what, and how, and where to fly.

Tell me where, and when, and why, and what, and how I live after you.

Tell me how, and where, and when, and why, and what I'll drink.

Tell me what, and how, and where, and when, and why you danced away.

Tell me why, and what, and how, and where, and when you will be back.

I don´t want to get hurt (by Toto)

2011-01-19T10:26:00.000-08:00

Para todos esos Roxette fans que siempre soñaron con un video de I DON'T WANT TO GET HURT... y en esta historia... ;)

To all those Roxette fans that always dreamt of a video for I DON'T WANT TO GET HURT... and this story... ;)

Mmmmm quizá está un poco con delay... y puede que no termine justo, es que casi pierdo todo y preferí dejarlo así... jajajajaj

Mmmmm maybe is a bit delayed... and it may not finish where it should, it's that i almost lose everything and i decided to leave it this way... hahahaha

(pre-view / vista previa) no terminado, unfinished

2010-12-21T17:31:00.000-08:00

still have not thought of a name, still have not finished it, still it's feeling so hard to keep on...

todavía no pensé un nómbre, todavía no lo terminé, todavía se siente difícil seguir...

twin / mellizo

2010-06-14T17:53:00.001-07:00

óleo sobre tela 20x80 cm / oil on canvas

a gift... again... apparently the only thing i feel like presenting with nowadays are paintings. i never thought i would, now i do... why would that be?

un regalo... nuevamente... aparentemente lo único que siento ganas de regalar en estos días son pinturas. nunca pensé que lo haría, ahora si... ¿por qué será?

to my other half / para mi otra mitad

a thing about her / algo sobre ella

2010-05-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

óleo 100cm x 100cm / oil 100cm x 100cm

un regalo, para mi madrina... que la amo...
a gift, for my godmother... whom i love...

Bara för en dag - Just for a day - Only for a day!

2010-03-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

i was so lucky ( para jj)

2010-03-16T18:29:00.000-07:00

A thing about you (for the fans)

2010-03-16T15:18:00.000-07:00

Ljus (oil 80cm x 40 cm)´(óleo 40 cm x 80 cm)

2010-03-05T15:36:00.000-08:00

Roxette and Marie's Covers by me!

2010-03-05T15:22:00.000-08:00

så skimrande var aldrig havet / el mar nunca se vio tan brillante / the sea has never been so bright

2009-11-18T14:06:00.000-08:00

a bit of something / un poco de algo

again rosario finds me inspired... it is something i have been working on for ages... i hope i can finish it some day... it takes a long while.... but i will make it... it's decided....

nuevamente rosario me encuentra inspirado... es algo en lo que he estado trabajando por mucho tiempo... espero pueda terminarlo algún día... lleva su tiempo... pero lo voy a lograr... está decidido!

Tea / Té

2009-11-11T14:12:00.000-08:00

foto '09 / photo '09

This, as many things, has been born in Rosario, this year. It was the afternoon, I recall it was a sunny one. And he offered me a cup of tea. We went through his tea-box and chose this kind of berries-flavoured tea. I truly did not like it. Whatsoever. And I asked him if he could give me some milk. I just wanted to make it taste good. But it was impossible. However, the looks! God! It looked wonderful, I could not believe my eyes… the colour! I immediately asked him for the photo-camera, I wanted to save the image forever. But I had to make the colour stronger, that’s why I added the blue table-cloth, the sugar container and the spoon with some sugar in the scene. I was captivated by the colours. That’s all there is to say…

Esta, como muchas cosas, ha nacido en Rosario, este año. Fue una tarde, la recuerdo soleada. Y me ofreció una taza de té. Revisamos su caja de té y elegimos esa clase de té con sabor a arándanos. En verdad, no me gustó. Para nada. Y le pedí si me podía dar leche. Simplemente quería hacerlo saber bien. Pero fue imposible. ¡Pero, como se veía! ¡Dios! Se veía maravilloso, no podía creer lo que veía… ¡el color! Inmediatamente le pedí la cámara de fotos, quería guardarme la imagen para siempre. Pero tenía que hacer el color más fuerte, por eso le agregué el mantel azul, azucarera y la cuchara con azúcar en la escena. Estaba atrapado por los colores. Eso es todo lo que hay para decir…

los cuatro elementos de la naturaleza / the four elements of nature

2009-10-04T19:39:00.000-07:00

no hay mucho que decir, simplemente... ¡a disfrutar!

not so much to say, just... enjoy!

tierra (2006)

aire (2006)

agua (2006)

fuego (2004)

rompe-cabezas // puzzle

2009-09-20T21:23:00.000-07:00

tratando the conocer cómo lucen el ojo, la boca, la nariz y la oreja fuera del contexto obvio de la cara donde pertenecen. donde NOSOTROS los ponemos.

pero lo más desafiante que he encontrado es lograr cómo la mirada mira, cómo el aroma huele, cómo la voz dice o canta, y cómo la música de esa voz, tu voz suena.

trying to get to know, how the eye, the mouth, the nose and the ear look, out of the telling context of the face where they belong. where WE make them be.

but most challenging i have found achieving how the look looks, how the smell smells, how the voice says or sings, and how the music of that voice, your voice sounds.

todos en tinta 10x15 / all of them in ink 10x15

one month (un mes)

2009-09-07T05:49:00.000-07:00

tinta / ink

a veces... la única forma que encuentro de traducir en imágenes mis sentimientos es jugando con mi propia imagen... creo que no tiene nada que ver con el narcisismo... diría que es más algo como ser extremadamente crudo. yo mismo. sin filtros, simplemente lo que es.

este soy yo entonces... después de un mes... puede no parecer, pero lleno de esperanza, feliz... sólo preguntándome o mejor, esperando que dure más que eso... ¡y está sucediendo!

at times... the only way i find of translating into images my feelings is playing with my own image... i think it has nothing to do with narcissism... i would say it is more like being extremely raw about it. myself. no filters, just what it is

this is me then... after one month... it may not look like, but full of hope, happy... just wondering, or expecting for it to me longer than that... and it is happening!

Inspiración y musa (Inspiration and muse)

2009-08-31T06:10:00.000-07:00

Inspiración y Musa

http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marie_Fredriksson

No daña de vez en cuando mimarse un poco, y es lo que voy hacer acá. Me voy a dejar ir.

Marie Fredriksson, mi artista favorita en muchos aspectos. Para mi, una luchadora. La gente que conoce su historia me entenderá, la gente que no… dejenmé decirles, se están perdiendo de algo. Algo muy grande. Podría decir muchas cosas pero nunca sería objetivo cuando se trata de ella.

Simplemente voy a usar las palabras del Sr Jonas åkerlund (http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonas_Åkerlund)

‘Habiendo pasado casi 20 años trabajando con gente creativa, aprendí a diferenciar a un artista genuino de un falso

Marie Fredriksson es una de las artistas más consumadas que he encontrado. Ella emana creatividad en sus pensamientos, sus ideas, su trabajo y en la forma que es.

Su tremenda habilidad artística viene directo del corazón y siempre ha tenido un impacto emocionante en los espectadores. A pesar de las malas jugadas y sorpresas poco felices de la vida, Marie ha continuado creando. Esto prueba qué increíble artista es y la fuerza y la importancia de la creatividad en su vida.

Marie siempre ha movilizado a la gente con su trabajo. Su voz, sus letras y ahora con sus hermosas pinturas.
Desde nuestro primer encuentro con el corto de el viaje eterno, he admirado el coraje de Marie. El coraje de ser ella misma. Ser honesta, abierta, atreverse a mostrar sus debilidades y ser auténtica en su arte. Estoy orgulloso de haberla conocido y haber trabajado con ella. Una verdadera artista en todo aspecto; quien también tiene una voz impresionante.’

(del libro de arte de Marie Fredriksson 'After the Change' - 'Después del cambio')

sólo un décimo de lo que hubiese escrito

An Inspiration and Muse

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marie_Fredriksson

It does not hurt to indulge oneself now and again, and this what I am going to do here. I will let myself go.

Marie Fredriksson, my favourite artist in many respects. To me, a fighter. People who know her story will understand me, people who don’t… let me tell you, you are missing something. Something huge.

I could say so many things but I could never be objective when talking about her.

I am just going to use Mr Jonas åkerlund’s words (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonas_Akerlund)

‘Having spent almost 20 years working with creative people, I have learnt to tell a genuine artist from a fake.

Marie Fredriksson is one of the most consummate artists I have ever encountered. She exudes creativity in her thoughts, her ideas, her work and in the way she is.

Her tremendous artistic ability comes straight from the heart and always has an emotional impact on the viewers. Despite setbacks and life’s odd surprises, Marie has continued to create. This proves what a tremendous artist she is and the drive and importance of creativity in her life.

Marie has always moved people with her work. Her voice, her words and now with beautiful paintings.

Ever since our first encounter with the film about the eternal journey, I have admired Marie’s courage. The courage to be herself. To be honest, open, to dare to show weakness and to be personal in her art. I am proud to know and to have worked with Marie. A true artist in every respect, who also has a bloody good singing voice.’

(from Marie Fredriksson’s art book – ‘After the Change’)

Just a tenth of what I would have written.
Jugando - Playing

2:nd chance / all about you (2:da oportunidad / todo sobre vos)

2009-08-26T20:05:00.000-07:00

(jul 09)

‘Segunda Oportunidad’ y ‘Todo Sobre Vos’

Agarré dos tapas de cd-simples de Marie Fredriksson e hice mi propia versión de lo que ella había hecho. Ella uso carbonilla y yo usé tinta y acuarelas.

Fueron hechos en Rosario, el invierno pasado. No me pregunten por qué los hice… sólo sentí que quería hacerlos. Y lo hice. Es gracioso, ahora son la tapa y la contratapa de mi ‘guía de capital’ llamada ‘Guía T’… por eso ahora tengo una guía de calles con onda.

‘Second Chance’ and ‘All About You’

I have taken two of Marie Fredriksson’s singles covers and I have done my own version of them. She used charcoal and I used ink and watercolours.

They were made in Rosario, last winter. Do not ask me why I made them… I just felt I wanted to. And I did. It is funny, they are now the cover and back cover of my ‘downtown guide’ called ‘Guía T’… so I have a fancy street guide.

2:nd chance

I think of you every day
Especially this morning of spring
Oh thank God I'm alive
And I look down on my Sydney-ring

How can I tell you enough
That I love you more than ever
Oh thank God I'm alive
And I know I love you forever
It's a beautiful morning sun
Shining on me for the 2nd time
My red roses are still mine
And shining on me for the 2nd time

I'm gonna take my time
Cannot take anything for granted
Oh thank God I'm alive
And you're more than I ever wanted

It's a beautiful morning sun...

I think of you every day
Especially this morning of spring
Oh thank God I'm alive
Oh thank God I'm alive
I'm alive for the 2nd time

All about you

Livin' on my own
I always felt so strong
I listened to my heart
But only in that song, you know...
I was afraid I didn't know myself
I wasn't me till I met you...
Love to know all about you
Oh baby, all about you
And I want you to know all about me

How could this be for real
Is life something you feel
So many days I spent
Not knowing time was heaven sent
I never thought that life is a miracle
Now I know it's meant to be

Love to know all about you...

In times of loneliness
I've been tasting the fear of losing you
But my heart is strong and I'm no fool

I will always love you, I will always love to...

Längtan - Anhelo - Longing

2009-08-26T13:57:00.000-07:00

óleo -oil

40 cm x 50 cm

(jul '09)

‘Längtan’ es el primer cuadro que pinté para otra persona, el primer cuadro que nunca será mío… se siente raro, pero la sonrisa que me queda vale mil cuadros más. Es el primer regalo-cuadro. Quizá no sea el último, pero por ahora, me quedo con que sea el primero.

‘Längtan’ es una de las canciones favoritas de Marie Fredriksson de la persona que ahora es dueña del cuadro. Esa persona que me ayudó a cambiar un poco los colores de los cuadros, que me ayudó a hacer ‘let it go, let it come’…

ESA persona…

‘Längtan’ is the first painting I did for someone else, the first canvas that will never be mine… it feels strange, but the smile I keep is worth a thousand canvases more. It is the first painting-gift. Maybe not the last, but for the time being, I keep saying the first.

‘Längtan’ is one of the now owner’s favourite Marie Fredriksson songs. That person who helped me change the colours in the paintings a little bit, the one that helped me make ‘let it go, let it come’…

THAT one…

Längtan

Ja vill möta en morgon / vid en varmare kust / jag vill minnas min frihet och befria min lust / jag har packat min väska / med allt jag vill ha / allt jag behöver / är att komma bort ett tag / vill du ha nyckeln till min hemlighet / måste du våga hela vägen / ge din längtan till havet / låt den driva med strömmen / sätt dej på stranden / och vänta oche se / din dröm blir en svala / som seglar med vinden / lägg dej i gräset / försök följa med / det var länge sen sist / allt för länge min vän / jag trodde nog aldrig / att vi sjulle mötas här igen / jag vill se deh skratta / jag vill se dej le / och jag vill lyssna / det är allt jag kan ge / vill du ha nyckeln till min hemlighet / måste du våga hela vägen… ge din längtan…

Longing

I will meet one morning / a warmer coast / I will remember my freedom and release my lust / I have packed my bag / with all I want to have / all I need / is to get away for a while / do you want to have the key to my secret / do you dare go the whole way / give your longing to the sea / let it flow with the stream / sit down on the beach / and wait and see / your dream become a swallow / that sails with the wind / lay down in the grass / try to follow / it was a long time ago / all too long my friend / I certainly never believed / that we would meet here again / I want to see you laugh / I want to see you smile / and I will listen / that’s all I can give / do you want to have the key to my secret / do you dare go the whole way / give your longing…

Anhelo

Me encontraré una mañana / una costa más cálida / recordaré mi libertad y liberaré mi lujuria / he armado mi bolso / con todo lo que quiero tener / todo lo que necesito / es irme por un tiempo / querés la llave de mi secreto / te atrevés a recorrer todo el camino / dar tu anhelo al mar / dejarlo fluir con la corriente / sentarse en la playa / y esperar y ver / a tu sueño volverse una golondrina / que navega con el viento / recostarte en el césped / tratar de seguir / fue hace mucho tiempo / demasiado largo mi amigo / y ciertamente nunca creí / que nos encontraríamos aquí otra vez / quiero verte reir / quiero verte sonreir / y escucharé / es todo lo que puedo dar / querés tener la llave de mi secreto / querés recorrer todo el camino / dar tu anhelo…

let it go / let it come

2009-08-23T20:03:00.000-07:00

óleo / oil

2m x 1m

Déjalo ir, déjalo entrar

Quería un cambio, necesitaba un cambio, yo estaba cambiando. La situación no era la mmisma. Había conocido a alguien, lo sé, había finalmente, después de tantos años, encontrado un poco de tranquilidad de corazón, de alma… sabía que las posibilidades de que no durase eran grandes, pero me sentía bien (todavía me siento bien, a propósito) y necesitaba aire en mis bastidores también. Quería pintar aquel poquito de esperanza en el aire. Y… quería darle un descanso a los complicados cuerpos humanos… necesitaba sentir el ‘poder’ de terminar una pintura en menos de un mes. Y me hizo sentir bien.

Hay muchas interpretaciones de este cuadro. La de arriba es una de ellas, y hay muchas más… diría que hay tantas como personas la han visto.

Encontré una muy interesante de alguien que no la vio, sólo escuchó de ella. El globo es ese alguien que todos tuvimos alguna vez y que necesitamos dejar ir para poder dejar entrar a ese otro alguien esperando… y las manos tratando de subir al piso doce y entrar, bueno, es bastante obvio. La mente que pensó esto fue Mariana, una compañera de trabajo nueva, una persona que respeto mucho y aprecio igual. Quien me ha dado muchos consejos y nunca se ha equivocado… hasta ahora!

Con respecto a Gloria, también, ella quería que las manos sean de alguna manera realistas porque todo el cuadro sería muy naïve si no… y había una necesidad de ‘estilo Toto’.

Está en la pared de mi dormitorio, haciendo el lugar más grande, dándome aire, dejándome sentirme menos encerrado. Dándome esperanza…

Let it go, let it come

I wanted a change, I needed a change, I was changing. Situation was no longer the same. I had met someone, I know, I had finally, after so many years, found a little stillness of heart, of mind… I knew possibilities of it not lasting were plenty, but I was feeling fine (still am, by the way) and I needed air in my canvases as well. I wanted to paint that little hope in the air. And… I wanted to give a rest to complicated human bodies… I needed to feel the ‘power’ of finishing a painting in less than a month. And it made me feel fine.

There are many interpretations of this painting. The one above is one of them, and there are many more… I would say there are as many as people are who have seen it.

I found a really interesting one from someone who did not see it, who just heard of it. The balloon is that someone who we all once had and need to let go in order to let this other one waiting to come in… and these hands trying to make their way up to the twelfth floor and inside, well it is pretty telling. That one mind thinking of it was Mariana, a new working mate I have, a person I do respect and appreciate. Who’s given me great advice and never made a mistake… so far!

As for Gloria, well, she wanted to have the hands in a realistic sort of way for the whole painting would turn out to be pretty naïve… and there was a need of ‘Toto style’

It is on my bedroom wall, making the place bigger, giving me air, letting me feel less locked up in a room. Giving me hope…

Unwinged - Desalado

2009-08-22T08:40:00.000-07:00

(40cm x 80cm) óleo - oil

may '09

Desalado

Fue por el 2007 que comencé mis clases de pintura con Gloria, pero me he sentido curioso a cerca de dibujar y expresar cosas con imágenes desde 2004, que haya pruebas, por supuesto.

Corría el año 2005 y lo sé, no sólo porque tengo los dibujos, sino porque unos meses atrás, un ex – alumno me lo recordó. Vuelta al 2005, yo cree algo que se llamó ‘El Desalamiento’ (si la lengua castellana me lo permite), pronto llegó, ‘El Desalamiento II’ y ‘La Finalización del Desalamiento’.

El tiempo pasó y me encontró llevando ese viejo boceto a su versión en óleo. Ojalá pudiese pasar más tiempo pintando… de esa forma podría hacer los otros dos, pero bueno, hay muchas ideas en mi cabeza, tendría que vivir para pintar para poder pincelar mis ideas en el bastidor.

Como ustedes saben son profesor de inglés, y mi alumno me recordó lo que una vez les dije. Era 2005, más que seguro que ya había creado a ‘El Desalamiento’, porque mientras les enseñaba les dije… ‘No se queden con las palabras comunes, busquen más, inventen palabras si las necesitan, eso es lo fascinante del idioma para mi. Pero por supuesto, asegúrense que saben cómo hacerlo’ y escribí ‘DESALAMIENTO’ en el pizarrón.

Alejo (mi alumno) me contó la historia otra vez, después de haber subido la foto de la pintura en facebook. Mis ojos se inundaron. Sentí escalofríos en la espalda. Inmediatamente le mandé un e-mail a Gloria contándole lo que me había pasado. Y su respuesta fue ‘sin palabras’.

Unwinged

It was back in 2007 that I took up the painting lessons with Gloria, but I have been feeling curious about drawing and expressing things with images since 2004, that there’s a record, of course.

It was 2005 and I know it as a fact, not only because I have the drawings, but because a couple of months ago, a former student of mine reminded me of that. Back in 2005 I created something that was called ‘The Unwinging’, soon after that came, ‘The Unwinging II’ and ‘The Completion of the Unwinging’

Time passed and now I found myself taking the old draft to an oil-version of it. I wish I could spend more time painting… that way I could do the other two, but well, there are many ideas in my mind, that I should live for painting in order to brush my ideas on a canvas.

You know I am a teacher of English, and my student reminded me of what I once told them. It was 2005, I certainly had already created ‘The Unwinging’, for while teaching I told them… ‘Do not stick to the ordinary words, look for something more, invent words if you need them, that’s the fascinating thing about the English language for me. But of course, make sure you know how to do it’ and I wrote UNWINGING on the board.

Alejo (my student) told me the story back, after I had uploaded the photograph of the painting in facebook. My eyes flooded. I felt chills up and down my spine. I immediately sent Gloria an e-mail telling her what had happened to me. And her answer was ‘speechless’.

Night & Day (Noche y Día)

2009-08-20T18:01:00.000-07:00

80cm x 100cm (cada uno / each) óleo – oil

(jun '08)

(sep '08)

Night and Day (Noche y Día), de la película ‘De-Lovely’ / Night and Day, from the motion picture ‘De-Lovely’

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbp5WsN8-H8

Todo comenzó jugando con algunas fotos. Estaba haciendo un curso de fotografía. Enero 2008. Trataba de descifrar el programa Photoshop y hacía cosas estúpidas, y el boceto de esto apareció.

Al principio, lo que se puede ver como el día iba a ser una noche llena de estrellas. Y lo que es tormentoso ahora, un cielo diáfano.

Medio que me imaginé cómo, a veces, uno vive durante la noche y se esconde en plena luz del día. Creo que me pasó por mucho tiempo. Tratando de ser quien no era de día, y siendo sólo capaz de ser yo en la noche, donde nadie puede verte. Donde el anonimato crece.

Pero después pensé… no más. Yo soy yo durante el día y la noche. Y más aún… creo que le tomo a la noche hoy día. Prefiero quedarme adentro. Entonces, todo el boceto cambió, pero no el nombre. Porque algo tenía que mantener.

En el taller, toda la jodita comenzó, desde ese día me transformé en la persona más narcisista en el mundo. Pintarse a sí mismo! Pero bueno, la cosa es que… yo entiendo por qué hice lo que hice…

Me llevó muchas horas, muchas clases, me angustié, los odié… pero valió la pena. Me encantan. Mejor dicho, los amo afectuosamente.

It all started playing with some photos. I was doing a photography course. January 2008. I was trying to figure out the Photoshop program and doing silly things, and the draft for this appeared.

At first, what can be seen as the day was going to be a night full of stars. And the now stormy one, a clear sky.

I kind of imagine how, at times, one lives during the night and hides in broad day light. I think it happened to me for a long time. Me trying to be who I was not in daylight, and being able to be myself, just in the night, where nobody can see you. Where anonymity increases.

But then I thought… not anymore. I am me myself during the day and night. And what’s more… I think I fear night nowadays. I’d rather stay in… So, the whole draft changed, but not the name. because it had to keep something.

At the workshop, the whole joke started, from that day on I became the most narcissist person in the world. Painting myself! But well, the thing is… I understand why I did what I did…

It took me long hours, many lessons, I became anguished, I hated them… but it was worth it. I really like them. Better said, I love them dearly.

Hold Me (Abrazame)

2009-08-19T20:22:00.000-07:00

190cm x 100cm

óleo - oil (feb '09)

Abrazame…

Fue un trabajo que nos propusieron los profesores en el curso de fotografía. Bueno, no un trabajo, pero una tarea a llevar a cabo, durante las clases. Teníamos que crear una fotografía, y yo hice eso… cree mi fotografía con la cabeza de un maniquí y una luz impresionante. Por supuesto tuve ayuda, mis compañeras Mery y María.

Quería expresar lo que estaba sintiendo en aquellos días. Sintiendo que a veces podés abrazar a alguien y darte cuenta que ese alguien está vacío, frío, no-vivo.

Recuerdo que estaba pensando mucho en grases de algunas canciones como…

‘… cuando me abrazás fuerte, te preguntás quién está adentro…’

‘… parece que haya estado corriendo todo mi vida, como acuarelas en la lluvia…’

Desde el momento que imprimí la foto supe que quería pintarla.

No podía encontrar el momento indicado. Era una imagen tan poderosa. Consumía mucha energía. Pero al final, llegó el momento. Tenía que ser grande, enorme diría yo.

Llevó tiempo, no tanto como hubiese pensado… pero sí que llevo tiempo.

También sufrió cambios de último momento. El fonod era un celeste yano y no estaba convencido. Gloria casi me mata cuando le dije que quería cambiarlo, pero me lo permitió, una vez más. Necesitaba hacerlo más fuerte, más poderoso, y me parece que lo logré.

Otra vez un auto-retrato, y todos me burlaban. Pero bueno…

Mi mano derecha está incompleta. Primero hice un meñique de huesos, luego pensé que lo iba a ver todos los días en mi casa y que iba a ser extremadamente tenebroso. Por eso lo quemé.

Y necesitaba más… por eso, fue de ser un simple bastidor grande a un tríptico enorme. El grande es de 1.5m x 1m y los chiquitos son de 20cm x 1m.

Se siente como si el fondo se apoderase de la imagen, pero sin embargo, arriba hay un poco de esperanza abriéndose camino.

Hold me…

It was an assignment set by the teachers in the photography course. Well, not an assignment, but a task to carry out, during lessons. We had to create a photograph, and I did that… I created my photograph with that head of a mannequin and an amazing light. Of course I had some help, my mates Mery and María.

I wanted to express what I was feeling back in those days. Feeling that at times you hug someone and you realise that that someone is empty, cold, un-alive.

I remember I was thinking so much of phrases in some songs like…

‘…when you hold my body close, do you wonder who’s inside…’

‘… seems I’ve been running all my life, like watercolours in the rain…’

From the moment I had the photograph printed I knew I wanted to paint it.

I could not find the right time, though. It was such a powerful image. Energy-consuming. But in the end, the time came. It had to be big, huge I would say.

Took a while, not as long as I had thought… but it did take long.

It also suffered last minute changes. The background was plain light-blue and I was not convinced, Gloria almost killed me when I told her I wanted to change it, but allowed me, once again. I needed to make it stronger, more powerful, and I think I achieved it.

It was again a self-portrait, and everybody was mocking me. But well…

My left hand is incomplete. First I did a bony-pinky, then I thought I was going to see it every day in my house and it was going to be extremely creepy. That’s why I just burned it off.

And I needed more… so, it went from a single big canvas to a huge triptych. The big one is 1.5m x 1m and the small ones are 20cm x 1m each.

It feels as if the background is getting hold of the image, but then again, up there there is hope making its way in.

Fatherless / Sin Padre

2009-08-19T15:40:00.000-07:00

30cm x 50 cm

óleo - oil (feb '08)

My segunda pintura al óleo. Vi esta foto y quería tenerla en un bastidor. Le he hecho algunos cambios, al original me refiero.

Vi la foto y pensé en tener cuatro de los mayores grupos étnicos en óleo. Fue muy difícil para mi tener cuatro primeros planos en una superficie de 30cm x 50cm. Mucho en tan poco. La mujer oriental sufrió muchos, muchos cambios, hasta tuve a una alumna mía modelando para mí. Pero al final... Gloria me dio esta foto de revista y ya!

Mientras bocetaba me di cuenta de la ausencia de la figura paterna. Murió, ellos acaban de enterrarlo. Ella está llorando y tratando de ser fuerte por sus hijos.

Un cambio de lo monocromático a los colores vivos. Quizá el trabajo que menos dice de mi, pero aún así un montón.

My second oil painting. I saw this one picture and wanted to have it on a canvas. I have done some changes, to the original I mean.

I saw the picture and I thought of having four of the mayor ethnic groups in oil. It was very difficult for me to have four close ups in a 30cm x 50cm surface. Too much in too little. The oriental woman suffered many, many changes, I even had a student modeling for me. But in the end... Gloria gave me this magazine photo and that was it!

While drafting I noticed the absence of the father figure. He died, they have just buried him. She is crying but trying to be strong for their kids.

A change from the monochromatic to the full colours. Maybe the piece that says the least of me, but still a lot.

TILL SIST - AL FIN (AT LAST)

2009-08-18T19:53:00.001-07:00

40cm x 50cm

óleo - oil (sep '07)

'Pasemos a óleo' me dijo Gloria. 'Traé un imagen que te movilice', y eso hice. Yo abrazando a mi rayito de luz, mi sobrino, Francisco. Gloria vio la foto, me miró y me preguntó si me había vuelto loco porque quería empezar por donde todos terminan. Auto retrato. Igual me lo permitió. Me llevó seis meses. Amo esta pintura, aún sabiendo que tiene muchos errores.

Es fascinante cómo alguien puede conocer su yo real, el que todos ven y no el que el cerebro ve. 'Till Sist'. Debería haberse llamado 'Så Skimrande Var Aldrig Havet', pero era muy largo y sabía que Gloria nunca lo aceptaría. Por eso cambié a 'Till Sist'. Ambas 'Till Sist' y 'Så Skimrande Var Aldrig Havet' son canciones que solía cantarle a Francisco para hacerlo dormir cuando era bebé.

Till Sist (Al Fin) de Marie Fredriksson

Så Skimrande Var Aldrig Havet (El Mar Nunca Se Vio Tan Brillante) de Evert Taube, cantado por Marie Fredriksson.

'Move on to oil painting' Gloria told me. 'Bring an image which moves you', and I did. Me hugging my little ray of light, my nephew, Francisco. Gloria saw the picture, looked at me and asked me if I was nuts because I wanted to start at the place everybody ends. Self portrait. She allowed me to, though. Took me six months. I love the painting, even knowing it has many flaws.

It is fascinating how someone can get to know the real self, the one everybody sees and not the one the brain sees. Till Sist. The piece should have been called 'Så Skimrande Var Aldrig Havet', but it was too long and I knew Gloria would never accept it. So I switched to 'Till Sist'.

Both 'Till Sist' and 'Så Skimrande Var Aldrig Havet' are songs I used to sing to Francisco to make him sleep as a baby.

Till Sist (At Last) by Marie Fredriksson

Så Skimrande Var Aldrig Havet ( The Sea Has Never Looked So Sparkling) by Evert Taube sung by Marie Fredriksson

Till Sist

(words & music: Marie Fredriksson)

Published by Shock The Music

Så var du bara där / Jag såg ditt ljus i mörkret / Plötsligt lyste solen i mitt hjärtas mörker / Till sist äntligen du kom till sist, till sist / Till sist äntligen du kom till sist, till sist / Jag älskar dej min vän / Mer än du nånsin tror / Jag trodde aldrig att kärlek var en känsla så stor, så stor / Till sist äntligen du kom till sist, till sist / Till sist äntligen du kom till sist, till sist /

At Last

So you were just there / I saw your light in the darkness / Suddenly the sun shone / In the darkness of my heart / At last / Finally you came / At last / At last / I love you, my friend / More than you'll ever believe / I never thought that love / Was a feeling so strong / At last finally you come at last, at last /

Al Fin

Y estabas ahí mismo / Vi tu luz en la oscuridad / De repente el sol brilló / En la oscuridad de mi corazón / Al fin / Finalmente llegaste / Al fin / Al fin / Te amo, my amigo / Más de lo que alguna vez creas / Nunca pensé que el amor / Era un sentimiento tan fuerte / Al fin finalmente llegaste al fin, al fin /

Så Skimrande Var Aldrig Havet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyjO40urusE

(words & music: Evert Taube)

Published by Reuter & Reuter Förkags AB

Så skimrande var aldrig havet / och stranden aldrig så befriande / fälten ängarna och träden / aldrig så vackra / och blommorna aldrig så ljuvligt doftande / som när du gick vid min sida / mot solnedgången / aftonen den underbara / då dina lockar dolde mig / för världen / medan du dränkte alla mina sorger / älskling i din första kyss /

The Sea Has Never Looked So Sparkling

The sea has never been so sparkling. And the beach never so liberating. The fields, meadows and trees never so beautiful. And the flowers never smelling so lovely as when you went by my side. Towards the wonderful sunset evening. Then your curls hid me from the world. When you drank all my sorrows, darling, in your first kiss.

El Mar Nunca Se Ha Visto Tan Brillante

El mar nunca se ha visto tan brillante. Y la playa nunca tan liberadora. Los campos, praderas y árboles nunca tan hermosos. Y las flores nunca han olido tan amorosamente como cuando pasaste por mi lado. Hacia ese maravilloso ocaso. Luego tus rulos me escondieron del mundo. Cuando bebiste todas mis penas, mi querido, en tu primer beso.

M.F.

2009-08-18T17:32:00.000-07:00

Tercer trabajo en lápiz. Qué dibujar... Esto, esta imagen siempre había sido LA imagen. Una vez dije 'Si alguna vez empiezo a dibujar, ESTE sería el punto más alto al cual llegar... esta foto'. Bien, es tan sólo mi número tres.

Marie Fredriksson, qué inspiración, qué compañía, qué musa... qué mujer.

Third piece in pencil. What to draw... ?. This, this image had always been THE one. Once I said 'If I ever start drawing, THIS would be the highest I can get... this photo'. Well, it is just my number three.

Marie Fredriksson, quite an inspiration, a company, a muse... a woman.

Den Ständiga Resan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s43qazwL3D8

(words & music: Marie Fredriksson)
Published by Shock The Music
När jag tänker på den ständiga resan genom livet / När det alltid känns som höst / Då vändet sej vinden sakta mot norr och blommorna dör / Det faller regn i mina drömmar / Jag måste resa igen och leta efter tröst / Jag måste leta igen efter ömhetens röst / Jag måste resa igen till nästa höst / Den ständiga resan till nästa höst / När jag vandrar på den steniga vägen genom livet / När det känns som jag bar på en sorg / Då gömmer sej solen sakta i moln och ordet är adjö / Snart faller snö i mina drömmar / Jag måste resa igen och leta efter tröst / Jag måste leta igen efter ömhetens röst / Jag måste resa igen till nästa höst / Den ständiga resan till nästa höst / Den ständiga resan till nästa höst / Till nästa höst /
The Eternal Journey
When I think about the eternal journey / Through life / When it always feels like autumn / When the wind slowly turns North / And the flowers die / There is rain falling in my dreams / I must travel again / And search for comfort / I must search again / For the voice of tenderness / I must travel again / Till next autumn / The eternal journey / Till next autumn / When I am walking on the stone road / Through life / When it feels like I live in sorrow / Then the sun is slowly hiding itself in clouds / And the word is goodbye / Soon snow will fall in my dreams / I must travel again...

El Viaje Eterno
Cuando pienso en el viaje eterno / A través de la vida / Cuando siempre se siente como otoño / Cuando el viento lentamente gira al Norte / Y las flores mueren / La lluvia está cayendo en mis sueños / Debo viajar nuevamente / Y buscar la comodidad / Debo buscar nuevamente / La voz de la ternura / Debo viajar nuevamente / Hasta el próximo otoño / El viaje eterno / Hasta el próximo otoño / Cuando camino sobre el camino de piedra / A través de la vida / Cuando se siente como vivir en pena / Entonces el sol se esconde a sí mismo en las nubes / Y la palabra es adiós / Pronto nevará en mis sueños / Debo viajar otra vez...

Chica Chicle-Globo / Bubble-Gum Girl

2009-08-18T16:56:00.001-07:00

La tarea: ir de una foto-todo color a un dibujo blanco y negro.

El modelo: un foto de revista, modelando Shakira.

Tengo que decir que no me gusta ni ella ni su música. Aunque sí la escuché bastante a menudo en el pasado. Y sí tengo un CD pirata hecho especialmente para mi con algunas de sus canciones. No sus canciones más famosas, simplemente algunas canciones.

Hacer esto se sintió como 'uno debe enfrentar sus propios temores' o 'lo que no te mata, te fortalece' de alguna manera...

The task: to go from a full-colour photo to a black and white drawing.

The model: a magazine photograph, featuring Shakira.

I do have to say I do not like neither her nor her music. I did listen to her quite often in the past, though. And I do have a bootleg CD made specially for me with some of her songs. Not her most famous songs, just some songs.

Doing this felt like 'one must face his owns fears' or ' that which does not kill you, makes you stronger', in a sort of way...

primer paso - first step

2009-08-17T20:28:00.001-07:00

Era Abril de 2007. Yo me había fracturado el hueso que une al dedo chiquito del pie derecho con la planta.

Caminaba con la ayuda de muletas, usando sólo una pierna. Y quien, en Enero de ese mismo año se había convertido en mi alumna particular, comenzó a ser mi profesora de 'Dibujo y Pintura'. La profesora: Gloria Cenoz de 'El Taller de la Cigarra' (www.eltallerdelacigarra.com.ar).

Gloria aceptó el 'reto' y un sábado de ese mes, fui al taller. Ella me dijo -comenzá con esto- y me dio una foto de este muchacho. Yo pensé que mi profesora estaba loca, pero no dije nada. Comencé. Tardé muchas clases, pero este es el resultado. Mi primer dibujo en el taller y... todo eso de valores, luces, sombras, lápices, gomas, etc...

Siempre agradecido a Gloria.

It was April 2007. I had the bone that joins the little toe in the right foot with the sole of it broken.

I walked with the aid of crutches, using just one leg. And who, in January of the same year had become my private student, started being my 'Drawing and Painting' teacher. The teacher: Gloria Cenoz from 'El taller de la Cigarra' (www.eltallerdelacigarra.com.ar).

Gloria accepted the 'challenge' and one Sunday of that month, I headed the workshop. She told me - You start with this - and handed me a picture of this guy. I thought my teacher was nuts, but said nothing. I began. It took me many lessons, but that is the result. My first drawing in the workshop and... all that stuff about lights, shades, pencils, erasers, etc...

Always thankful to Gloria.